A Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth

From Academic Excellence to Personal Fulfillment

Growing up under the weight of high expectations, I always strived to excel academically. My parents were both teachers and in a close knit Indian community where everyone knew everyone else. All my compatriots’ parents boasted to each other about the academic achievements of their respective children. This pursuit of excellence was more than just a personal ambition; it was a means to make my parents proud. Achieving success in school and university, I felt a continuous pressure to maintain this standard, fearing the disappointment of those I held dear. This sense of duty, deeply ingrained, followed me into adulthood.

The Transition to Family Life and Societal Pressures

Life progressed, and I embraced the roles of a husband and father. The 'right thing to do' mindset translated into a quest to provide a specific lifestyle for my family and care for my aging parents. This journey wasn't just about meeting the basic needs but matching the societal benchmarks set by my peers. The pressure was immense, often self-imposed, leading to a life lived more for others than myself. Living up to the American middle-class standards of my educated professional peers added pressure in the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ kind of way.

The Mid-Life Awakening

Many of us reach a point where we confront our mortality and realize the bulk of our lives have been dedicated to fulfilling others' expectations—employers, family, societal norms. This epiphany often leads to a mid-life crisis, where men, in particular, desperately seek self-gratification through material possessions, strained relationships, or drastic lifestyle changes. Unfortunately, this path often ends in a sense of purposelessness.

The Transformative Power of Jiu Jitsu

It was in this backdrop that I discovered Jiu Jitsu. This discipline became more than just a physical endeavor; it was a form of self-compassion, an outlet to do something purely for myself. The benefits were manifold:

• Physical Strength and Defense Skills: The art enhanced my physical strength, flexibility, and real-world self-defense skills.

• Mental Fortitude: More intriguing was the mental aspect. Jiu Jitsu taught me to stay calm in the heat of combat, a skill that translated seamlessly into handling life's challenges. That toxic boss or that demanding customer who disrespects you doesn’t seem so terrible when you have had a 200 pound guy try to smother you on the mat!

• Continuous Self-Improvement: Unlike my earlier career focus on promotions and titles, Jiu Jitsu emphasized self-improvement over defeating an opponent. This philosophy resonated with me, shifting my perspective towards finding fulfillment in personal growth rather than external achievements. Will you be remembered for what you did professionally even 5 years after you are gone from this world? Will that FAANG (Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google) company on your resume even matter when you are no longer with them? Instead, simply focus on doing work that you really care about and make small conscious improvements over the duration of your life so that at the end, you can look back with pride and see that you have had a life where you’ve strived for improvement.

Beyond the Mat: Life Lessons from Jiu Jitsu

My journey in martial arts evolved over time. Initially motivated by the desire to be perceived as formidable, I gradually shed the need for external validation. This newfound liberation extended to my professional life, where the allure of prestigious job titles lost its charm. Embracing failure as a stepping stone to learning, I discovered a profound sense of self-compassion and esteem.

The Lasting Impact

Today, Jiu Jitsu is more than a hobby; it's a metaphor for life. It's taught me invaluable lessons:

• Self-Acceptance: I've learned to appreciate my true self, without the need for external approval.

• Kindness and Prioritization: My relationships, especially with my family, have deepened as I've become more present and compassionate.

• Focus on What Truly Matters: My journey is now about continuous self-improvement, both mentally and physically, dedicating myself to causes that matter.

In conclusion, Jiu Jitsu has been a transformative force in my life, guiding me towards a path of self-discovery, inner peace, and personal fulfillment. It's a journey of continuous growth, one that I am grateful to be on.